There are literally millions of Chinese women to choose from on online dating websites. So no wonder the phenomenon of “benching” has become arguably the most popular thing in the modern dating culture.
Yep, I know. We’ve barely educated a third of the world’s population about what “ghosting” is, and there we go again – a new dating term is floating around.
Even though the term “benching” has been introduced in 2016, what it refers to has actually been around for decades (if not centuries). Benching refers to the practice of stringing someone along, and that someone usually has a crush on you.
Hold on… What’s ‘benching’?
Let’s say you’re benching a Chinese woman who is interested in you. You used to hang out together or chat online, and in her mind, she certainly started drawing pictures of you getting married.
But then you suddenly “bench” her to find a new gorgeous Chinese girl or for any other reason.
Instead of cutting all communication without explanation (“ghosting”), you keep that Chinese woman on the bench. Meaning: although you don’t hang out or chat like you used to, you still continue to interact with her every once in a while (nothing big: usually a tweet on Twitter, a mention on Instagram, or a like on Facebook).
Basically, people who get benched are in this void of uncertainty, in which they aren’t sure what’s going on between you two (or if anything is going on at all). You, on the other hand, keep them around “just in case” (they have a crush on you, so why not, right?).
But when does benching become a dick move? Are you being a dick for benching Chinese women to find Chinese bride? Well, it depends…
I’m ‘benching’ a girl…
In a nutshell, if you occasionally message your “benched squad” or like their pictures, while knowing that they have a crazy crush on you or are clearly thinking of you as their only potential life partner, you’re probably a dick.
The thing about stringing along a gorgeous Chinese woman who has a crush on you is that even an Instagram like can cause a wild reaction: she might start obsessing over it and thinking about you for days.
If you have no interest in how to marry Chinese girl, then you’re guilty of benching that girl.
If you, on the other hand, are simply being friendly with china ladies dating who like you without actually turning your subtle flirtations and occasional flirtations into anything serious, then it might be OK. But only as long as you know that the “benched” Chinese women are looking for someone else and aren’t thinking of you as their only potential partner while being benched by you.
Why do people ‘bench’ people?
If you’re the “I want a Chinese wife – the perfect one!” type of guy and want to meet Chinese girls online to find the best candidate for marriage, benching people may not be that bad as long as you aren’t hurting anyone’s feelings or wasting their time.
But why do people bench those who like them? Some do it in order to keep them on the bench while looking for all other available options. Others simply don’t want to go through that awkward “you aren’t my type” conversation to keep them away.
Instead, they choose to keep them around. Some, unfortunately, keep them on a tight leash and end up causing heartache and even ruining their life. That, of course, is not how a gentleman should behave.