It has happened to everyone who has dipped a toe in the turbulent waters of online dating: you’re scrolling or swiping past profile after profile, bored out of your mind, wondering why you bother at all.
Then, and suddenly, out of the blue, there she is.
This girl has it all: amazing looks, hobbies and interests that match your own, a great smile. And, let’s face it: if she’s on a “Russian mail bride” site, she’s also got a smoking body.
So you do what anyone would, you click it! You click it in anticipation of all the fun times you and your new Russian babe are going to have together.
Then what happens? You go on a date and it is a disaster. It just does not work. There’s no chemistry, there’s no spark, it’s just awful.
There may have been a click online, but there’s no click in real life.
So what went wrong? Well of course it could be a million things, but one place to start looking is at her profile. So many guys misread girls’ profiles, or they just see what they want to see. We are often guilty of something similar to wht they say about certain women who think they can “fix” a man once they start dating: we think, “yeah, we may not be compatible on that one thing, but it’ll be fine.”
I won’t say it’s impossible, but fellas, it’s not bloody likely either. But women being what they are and men being what we are, a beautiful face can make us miraculously see past glaring inconsistencies that the people around us find bleedin’ obvious.
Here are a few red flags we should watch out for when perusing online profiles.
- Different goals (photo evidence) – No matter how hot she is, if you’re looking for casual dating with hot Russian girls, and she wants to have kids in the next year, things aren’t going to go well. But don’t expect her to come right out and tell you she wants to be your Russian bride: you have to play detective here a bit. Do all her profile pics feature family? Is she frequently in pics with children, with nephews and nieces? Tread carefully if that’s not the sort of thing you’re after. Conversely, if you are looking for someone with whom to spend cold winter nights snuggling by the fire, then you should think good and hard before asking out a girl who has a million pictures of her partying with her friends. Speaking of…
- Confidence versus shyness – Is she never alone in any of her photos? Is she always jammed in among a pack of friends or family? That could be a sign of someone who isn’t very secure about themselves. Someone who is needy. We really have to read past what people say about themselves and look at what they show us. If we could date in Russia and we could speak the language that would be one thing. But we are hampered by language barrier, so we have to look harder.
- Be honest with yourself – Look, this is the bottom line, whether you’re on Russian chat sites or meeting a girl for some Russian chat in person (lucky dog!) But if that profile is tremendously different from your own, it doesn’t matter how hot she is. You’ve got to set your sights on situations that have some chance of working out past the first five minutes of the date.
Be adventurous, but be realistic! And be honest–the truth is the easiest thing to remember after all!