If your girlfriend is acting standoffish—canceling dates, not acting fully engaged—that could be a red flag. Although you could be tempted to blame it on culture at first—your cute Chinese lady is just naturally reserved, maybe—this could represent a change in behavior that means she is pulling away. Chinese girls, like all women, have feelings and needs, and will pull away if something seems wrong. She might feel some inequality in your relationship, or your China sexy woman might doubt her feelings or have trust issues.
To save your relationship, check out these potential reasons she might be pulling away:
#1: The Attention Deficit
If she is lavishing attention on you and you are not returning it in kind, that can be a problem. If she goes out of her way to do things for you and you can’t remember the last time you paid attention to her, that is probably at least one of the problems, and it is time to step up if you want to save the relationship.
#2: Commitment Phobia
Although the stereotype is that women crave commitment, it is often actually men, especially someone who might look at a nice Chinese girl photo on Chinese date sites, who want to settle down and have a family. If she is not ready for commitment and senses you are, she will probably pull back. Unless one of you is able to alter your attitude toward commitment, a relationship with this issue may be beyond repair, unfortunately.
#3: Coming On Too Strong
Even if she does want the same things you do, it is possible that your enthusiasm to scare her away. Coming across as clingy or obsessive is a real turn-off. In Chinese dating or any other kind, you want to find the balance between making her feel wanted and smothering her. Showing her attention, making it about her, and not acting like you need to be joined to her hip, are a good start.
#4: Someone Has Hurt Her Before
You might be really nice, but if she’s been hurt before, she may not be able to trust you or any feelings she might have for you. Her fear of being hurt can be powerful, but you can overcome it by taking things slowly and showing her that she can trust you.
#5: Mixed Messages
If you act totally into her one moment, and acting like you couldn’t care less the next, you are probably holding back. This sends mixed messages and will cause her to pull back as well.
#6: Unsure of Her Feelings
When things get serious, she might pull back and second guess her feelings. If it happens, don’t pressure her, but give her plenty of room to make up her own mind.
#7: No Trust
If you have some random beautiful Chinese sexy girl texting you, you are always talking to your ex, or you are just always looking at hot pics of Chinese girls, she might feel like she can’t trust you. If you have a reputation as a player with beautiful Chinese women photos in your wallet, you need to take steps to show her that is not really you and that she can trust you.
#8: Playing Too Hard to Get
If you play hard to get and act like you aren’t interested, she might think you just aren’t into her and pull back. This is similar to Mixed Messages above: if she doesn’t know whether you want to be with her, she might just pull away.
#9: Still Hurting
If she just had a bad break up, she might still be hurting. She might be trying to move on, but the feelings could come up even as she goes forward with you. Give her time and space to work through her hurt and let her know you will be there when she is ready.
#10: Something Just Isn’t Right
Sometimes she can’t put her finger on it, but she knows something is wrong. Give her time to think and work it out.