Foreigner’s Guide To What Not To Do When Dating A Chinese Lady

Chinese culture and Western culture are worlds apart. This difference has always been a barrier to foreign men who want to date a Chinese lady. Whether you are on a Chinese online dating website or meeting face-to-face the rules are the same. A word or action that may seem normal among westerners may be a turn off for Chinese girls. Chinese women are more family oriented while the westerners are more individualistic. There is also the problem of stereotype where western men define all Chinese women by a few characters they saw on television.

Mature Chinese ladies are not seeking for perfection. However, they expect you to know a few things about Chinese culture so that you don’t end up asking her awkward questions on a mobile dating site when you finally meet. By the way, if she ever gives you her number, just bear it in mind that the dating has already started. She will bombard you with texts to know as much as possible about you even before the both of you go out in public. However, the good news is that if you can scale through all the hurdles, you will have her for life because divorce is strongly frowned at in China.
mature Chinese womenA lot of foreigners going out on a date with sexy Chinese girls already know what to do. Nevertheless, only a few know what not to do. Sadly, there are lots of don’ts when it comes to dating Chinese women. Knowing about these red flags can make all the difference between a successful and a bad date. The most important don’ts are highlighted below.

Come in serious

In China, girls are under pressure to get married. If by 28 a girl is not married, she will be classified as a leftover, and her parents will take over the job of finding a husband for her. No lady wants that arrangement. This is why they only want to connect with serious guys; thus, the growth of Chinese mail order brides. Flirtatious behavior is a No-No and a huge turn off—not as if any woman enjoys it when you two are on a date, and you are flirting with her friends, right in front of her. Having your eyes fixed on the phone when both of you are together is also not acceptable. Every Chinese girl will want you to show some commitment to your relationship. When this is not forthcoming, she will take a step.

girl ChineseShow interest in Chinese culture

Unlike western culture, when you get married to a Chinese woman, you are getting married to her entire family. In Western countries you can meet a girl anywhere and start talking to her. In China it is a lot different. You will likely meet Chinese girls through their friends. Girls in this part of the world are reserved not because they are shy or timid but because it is part of their culture. Also bear it in mind that the Chinese are family oriented. No matter how much she loves you, if her family doesn’t approve of the relationship, there is little you can do about it. So, while doing your best to get her trust, remember to do just as much to get her family’s approval. Learn a bit of Chinese language, try out Chinese foods. It pays to be adventurous.

Look good

There is a popular saying that looking good is good business. If you pay attention, you will hardly see a Chinese girl shabbily dressed in public. Even if you visit dating websites and scroll through their profile one thing always stands out, Chinese beautiful girl photo is always curated. The way they make effort to look good for their man is also how they want you to look good for them. They want a man they can easily show off to their friends. This is because your relationship goes public the moment she gets her family’s approval.

Leave stereotype behind

Yes, some traits may be popular among an ethnicity but it doesn’t mean that every single person there must conform to it. When you meet Chinese women and they agree to go on a date with you, don’t assume she would like a particular food and order it for her. Instead, pay attention to what she likes. If she has told you one before, don’t forget. It is probably your first litmus test on a public date.

Victoria

Victoria Young is a Chinese woman who blogs about dating chinese woman and how to deal with intercultural differences in a Chinese-Western relationship.

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