Top Mistakes Matchmakers Say You Make in Chinese Dating

Top Mistakes Matchmakers Say You Make in Chinese Dating

Finding someone you truly vibe with can be difficult, especially when it comes to the Chinese dating scene. Nevertheless, difficult it may be, it’s not impossible to find someone who shares the same interests and views in life as you do.

However, matchmakers say that there are some mistakes that many are guilty of doing when dating. This is why they have difficulty finding someone they can be in a relationship with, even when they hit it off.

With that said, here are some of the most common mistakes that people tend to commit on dates according to matchmakers as well as some helpful tips on how to avoid them.

  • Expecting to feel an immediate connection and chemistry on the first date.

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Despite what romantic movies and online dating apps tell you, having chemistry and that romantic spark isn’t always immediate. Even if you and your date have enough common interests to guarantee a connection, it doesn’t guarantee that you’ll immediately feel a spark, especially since there are many factors which can affect the chemistry between the two of you.

If you’re dating a traditional Chinese woman, it might take a few more tries for you to bring her out of her shell and move past first impressions.

To avoid this mistake, keep in mind that sometimes, you need to work on building a connection between you and your date. Build a rapport with them by being yourself and practicing empathy. This will help build a genuine connection and help you get that second date.

  • Letting them know you’ve been Googling or stalking them online.

With the widespread accessibility of the internet and the prevalence of social media, learning about your date before meeting them has become easier. This is especially true for young Chinese girls and the younger generation in general as social media has become a part of their daily routine.

Nevertheless, while it’s not a crime to learn more about your date before you meet them – in fact, it’s good to have some prior knowledge about them, but they don’t need to know that you did some digging beforehand. This is a surefire way to scare off your date and make them less willing to share their life.

To avoid scaring her off, don’t pry too much and allow your beautiful Chinese girl to share her story herself. After all, you’re on a date, not interrogating someone.

  • Having too-high standards and too many deal breakers.

While it’s always good to have standards as this prevents you from settling for less than what you deserve, having too-high standards and many deal breakers can prevent you from finding someone you can truly hit it off with. Don’t miss out on amazing matches just because they didn’t have one characteristic you were sure you absolutely needed.

Get to know someone first before you write them off as you might be surprised how amazing your date is once you get to know them. Moreover, the less closed off you are, the more options you will have when it comes to dating. Who knows? You might end up meeting Chinese ladies for marriage because you gave them a chance.

  • Overanalyzing every detail of the date while you’re on the date.

mail order Chinese bridesFirst dates can be nerve-wracking and extremely awkward experiences, especially if you’ve been out of the dating game for a while. Don’t make it worse by overanalyzing every single detail while you’re on the date.

Get out of your head and enjoy the moment. Allow yourself to simply connect with your date and have fun. Avoid making judgments on the first date since rarely are they perfect anyway. Don’t get lost in your thoughts on how to get a Chinese girlfriend and simply go with it. Decide whether or not you’ll enter a relationship with them once you get to know them a little better.

  • Being too reserved and lacking passion.

Waiting until the second or third date to share what you’re passionate about can prove to be more disadvantageous and might actually prevent you from getting that second or third date. Many women, including Chinese women, look for someone who’s passionate about something.

It doesn’t have to line up with their own passions (although it sure would be helpful if it did) but being passionate and showing this to your date can go a long way in creating that spark you both want. After all, nothing’s more attractive than seeing someone talk about something they’re passionate about.

  • Talking too much about work – and nothing else.

While being passionate about work is good, it might be better if you don’t bombard them with the details. Instead, talk about something you’re passionate about that’s outside work. This will make you appear more interesting and well-rounded.

Having a life outside the scope of your work will make you appear more compelling to your date and this will help keep her interest and help you score that second date.

Final Thoughts

Nowadays, it’s easier to meet Chinese singles, especially with online dating apps but finding someone you can hit it off with is a more difficult task. This is because even when you find common ground like shared interests, it can be difficult to vibe with someone, especially when you have the tendency to make the aforementioned mistakes.

While there’s no definitive guide on how to date a Chinese woman, following the aforementioned tips and avoiding the mistakes associated with them will go a long way in ensuring you survive and thrive in the Chinese dating scene.

However, the most important thing to keep in mind is to be yourself and focus on building a genuine connection with your date.asian girls


Victoria Young is a Chinese woman who blogs about dating chinese woman and how to deal with intercultural differences in a Chinese-Western relationship.

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