Ways to Quit Being an Incel and Get a Chinese Girlfriend

Good on you for finally thinking about quitting being an incel and trying your luck in finding a Chinese girlfriend. The word “incel” was not really a widely known vocabulary until 2018. Nowadays, it is something you will probably hear a lot more often.

If you are thinking about dating a beautiful Chinese woman, then being an incel might become a huge detriment to your future dating plans. The Chinese dating cultureĀ is way different from the West, and the majority of the ladies from this country will surely not want to date an incel man.

Thankfully, this article will provide a step-by-step guideline to help you say goodbye to being an incel.

sweet Chinese girl

What Does Incel Mean?

Incel or also known as involuntary celibate is a personality usually found among men who think that their lack of loveĀ life is due to them being unattractive when in actual fact, it is only in their head and their terrible sexism attitude.

Incels are known for having very little self-awareness. For example, when they see an unattractive man with an attractive lady by their side, they would think the man is a trickster or has done some dodgy things to get the woman to be with him. Incels can’t wrap their head around why some women are attracted to men’s personality more than their looks.

A Guideline to Quit Being an Incel

Being an incel is a huge hindrance to having a blissful dating experience. Especially if you are interested in dating long-term and not just a temporary fling, you need to get yourself and your mind ready for what’s ahead.

This step-by-step guide aims to help you break your walls and totally get rid of the incel ideology in your life.

Step 1: Understand the Problem

The main factor that drives people to be incel is their horrible set of beliefs. When it comes to sex, dating, and gender, incels have a totally different perspective that keeps them in the dark. This is why a lot of incels struggle to find a worthwhile relationship.

The first step you need to do is to understand those beliefs and ask yourself what it is giving you. Do these beliefs make you feel good about yourself or do they only fill your life with negativity?asian girls

Step 2: Understand Yourself

Despite your desire for dating a sweet Chinese girl, you also probably often think you might end up just being an incel throughout your lifetime. Therefore, the next step you need to focus on is to realize if it is possible for you to unmake yourself from being an incel.

Picture out the life you desire and figure out the ways you can do to achieve it.

First, list all the negative things you hate about yourself. Afterward, determine the things you know you can control and the things you can’t. While there are a number of things in your life you can’t change such as your family or your face, there’s definitely loads of ones you can improve.

Determine the things you know you can improve and focus on the improvements you desire and your end goals. Once you come up with an end goal, break that big goal into chunks and slowly work on them. For example, if you want your figure to improve, start working out lightly until you think you are ready to do strenuous exercises.

Step 3: Look for a Positive Online Community

Chinese dating culture

A lot of incels are active on Reddit since it is where all the vague incel stuff happens. Unfortunately, there are tons of toxic and unhelpful subreddits in this platform. However, thankfully, there’s also a bunch of great communities in there.

When you are on online platforms like Reddit, seek a community that aims to give people support especially to people like you. There are many people who are happy to answer your questions and give you advice on how to get through this painful undertaking. Moreover, you may even find a community that will help you find a Chinese beauty, which is such a great added bonus.

Step 4: Get Support

Although you can find support through online communities, nothing beats the companionship and encouragement one can get from friends and family. However, if you’re like most incels who are socially isolated, this can be pretty difficult.

However, if you are determined enough to quit being a celibate, you need to find ways on how to start socializing with people. Think about why you are not very close to your family or friends and try to find ways to alter the situation.

On the other hand, you can also find better communities that do some sort of group activity such as cycling, martial arts, swimming, hiking, and more. Try to join one of those groups, and you will be surprised at how much positivity it can give to your life.

Step 5: Slowly Try Dating

Philippine Women,Philippino girl,

Now onto the dating stuff. If you’ve been wanting to meet gorgeous ladies from China, this is the time to take action.

If you’re familiar with online dating, you know that it is the most practical way to find a lover these days. Therefore, take advantage of these sites and see if maybe the perfect match for you is only one video chat away.


Being an incel is not easy; sometimes, the human mind is so powerful and is very hard to control. However, that doesn’t mean getting out of the incel ideology is beyond the bounds of possibility. Through determination and a strong desire to renew one’s thinking, everyone including you can finally get off the incel rut.


Victoria Young is a Chinese woman who blogs about dating chinese woman and how to deal with intercultural differences in a Chinese-Western relationship.

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