Are Expectations Part of Any Healthy Relationship with Latin American Women?
Isn’t it about time that our relationships with Latin American women thrived because of healthy expectations? Easier said than done, many of us are still confused about whether or not we should have expectations or nurture them at all.
In an ideal world, we would keep matters simple and uncomplicated. A reality check tells us, however, that the highs and lows of living up to expectations are like a rollercoaster ride. Emotionally, they can make you feel frustrated and drive you mad!
Well, down the drain isn’t where your relationship is heading if you remember these few things about expectations…
- Accept that they do exist.
“If you don’t have expectations, then you won’t get disappointed.” Time and again, we’ve taken this ounce of wisdom as a matter of fact. It has become a mantra we hear so often that many of us live by it.
With a “whatever” attitude, we insist that we don’t expect anything from our jobs, our friends, our families, and our partners. Somehow, this negates the element of support in which we need them to be there and supportive of us rather than go it alone. After all, aren’t these are the same people around in those moments when we’re happy or sad?
Part of the game plan has been that we’ve trained our minds to expect nothing from others so that we can bounce back and not get hurt. We make up excuses for having been treated badly, thinking that we’re asking too much or that we don’t deserve more. But then again, every person deserves to be treated better.
- Recognize when it’s too much.
Too much expectation can lead to a string of broken relationships. The stress of all the hype and drama only results in discontent and unhappiness. This holds true especially when we set impossible standards that no one can fulfill – and this equates to perfection.
Unconsciously, Colombian ladies set fixed expectations in a committed relationship too, like what course a daughter is supposed to take or what sport a son should be good at. The “should” or “must” factor in this equation limits us, whereas a “can” and “will” attitude would have liberated us to do more.
- Check your own perception.
Before you speak and act to your beautiful Latina girls, do you pause and see if you got the situation right? There is a big difference between a spouse who fails to show up on time for a Friday date night, and one who forgets your anniversary year after year. Often enough, it is the words “always” and “never” which put one on the defensive and trigger an argument. It’s also an issue of control when we expect that something should go our way (the outcome) or that it should be done our way (the action).
- Set standards that can be reasonably met.
A healthy set of expectations means that your most important needs are met. You are properly fed, clothed, and sheltered. You feel loved, honored, and protected. There are mutual respect and consideration for each other’s needs. For instance, you need your girlfriend to be faithful. People may have a prejudice that beautiful Latin women are demanding and not loyal. From a Poll on Latin brides dating site, 83% of single Latin women thought being loyal is a must in a committed relationship. These are reasonable needs that can be met.
If you set no standards at all for yourself, then that can’t be good. Is it possible that we set such low standards for ourselves thinking that we deserve less? It is important to have at least some level of standard that works for you. Otherwise, you end up with people you don’t even like or are unable to love as fully as you are capable of.
- Communicate with each other.
Sometimes, communication can be effortless; at times, it takes a lot of work. At any rate, the goal is to be able to convey each other’s need in a way that the other party listens and understands. This can be tough unless you learn to communicate effectively.
- Understand when priorities shift.
There’s a constant tug of war between what is more important or less important and who comes first or last. Unhealthy for the self, we often try to measure how high we are on someone’s priority list and then get affected when these priorities change. This calls for a time-out to reassess the situation.
- Give allowance for flaws and mistakes.
Occasionally, someone drops the ball. If it’s you, then be accountable for your actions and accept responsibility. Both of you can take away the blame and the shame that keep you from working things out.
In turn, your partner may screw up such as when they fail to deliver on a promise or read your mind. The trouble with mind-reading is that we tend to assume that the other person knows how we’re thinking or feeling without really clarifying. Human as we are, this is the part where expectations and assumptions ruin a relationship.
Accepting that we are all imperfectly flawed in some way, we choose to make someone part of our life anyway! So, fall for a person who fills you with a sense of satisfaction and anticipation. Choose a partner who appreciates and respects you – someone who gives you a good amount of the time and attention that you deserve. Fair enough, this tips the scale in favor of having expectations that keep a relationship happy and healthy.